My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
