chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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