I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
