I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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