I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
