i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
