We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
