I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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