Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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