dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize