Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
