i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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