its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you win again, gameday.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
