I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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