oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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