I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
