I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize