yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
