He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
