that's an acceptable place to lick
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
