Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
