I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
