I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
