can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
