eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
