In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
