new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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