What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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