summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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