she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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