Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
