I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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