"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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