I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
