White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
