The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
