butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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