If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
