You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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