Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
