Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
