Buhtt sex?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
