do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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