I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
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