decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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