i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
