We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
