just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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