I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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