And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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