Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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