And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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