Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
