theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
tell me about the eggs
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
