Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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