I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
